Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Friday the 13th - Movie Franchise Review

I have recently watched through all of these movies. I even watched the reboot for good measure. How do these hold up today? How do the movies stack up with one another? Let's find out!


Friday the 13th
This movie is where it all started. A bunch of people get hired to be counselors at a summer camp at Crystal Lake. We hear of a curse regarding the area from a crazy lunatic in town which sets the mood pretty nicely. We meet all the cast, for the most part, who are one-dimensional horny teenagers. I don't remember any names, but it doesn't matter. Oh, Kevin Bacon is in this!

Anyways, people start dying but no one notices until it is too late! One-by-one the counselors are picked off by a heartless murderer. We see a lot of shots of the killer's feet and legs but it is not until much later that the entire person is revealed.

Overall, this was a solid movie in which the only objective was to bump off a bunch of random people. There is no real plot, character development, or point. It's just murdering people in glorious fashion.

Friday the 13th - Parts 2-4
These movies are basically the same as the first movie. Have some excuse to put a bunch of people together and have Jason murder them all. Again, there is no plot, no character development, or point. These movies exist only to set people up for gruesome deaths and it's glorious.

Jason is a killing machine. He's hard to knock down, he gets around pretty well somehow despite not being very mobile, and he just does not die. He is totally unrelenting.

Friday the 13th - Part 5
This is almost the same as the previous movies but they want to change things up a bit. We follow our survivor from the previous movie and find out that they have been mentally unstable ever since the events at the end of Part 4. I cannot imagine why they would be traumatized by a relentless killing machine murdering a bunch of people, though.

There is a pretty brutal axe murder at the beginning of the movie which is just awesome. I think this is the point where they started to get a little more creative with some of the kills. It's still fairly basic but they took some chances!

Friday the 13th - Parts 6-8
We start this series of movies, yet again, following our survivor from the previous movie. In a rush to send Jason to Hell they inadvertently make him more powerful and more impervious to death than ever before. Woops?

The reasons for getting people together are starting to get more ridiculous and far-fetched than previously. We even get a telekinetic/psychic girl in part 7 which is just several tiers of bizarre but whatever. Part 8 was the weakest of all(unsurprisingly) but it was at least in a new setting.

Thankfully the kills start to get a lot more creative. Jason definitely wants to hone his craft and you can really tell that he cares. Moving from spikes, to brush cutters, to long harpoons, he is definitely trying to differentiate himself from other murderers. It's just great, isn't it? This is also the part of the series where Jason's abilities start to become noticeably more pronounced. If you thought he was ridiculous before, just wait!

Friday the 13 - Part 9
This movie is a big piece of shit. If it were the first in the series it wouldn't be a problem. However, having had 8 prior movies of established canon, which was very little by the way, none of the major plot points of this movie are in any of them.

It wants to shoehorn in a family plot, a persisting state of evil, and a one "true" way to finally kill Jason once and for all. It's so utterly terrible. I actually recommend skipping this movie entirely. It brings nothing to the table at all.

Jason X
If you want schlock done right, look no further than this movie. Jason gets frozen and is rediscovered in the distant future by a bunch of treasure hunter/archaeologists. Unfortunately for them, he thaws out and starts murdering them.

Surely people in the future can handle him? Apparently not. His ability to withstand damage is at an all time high and his mobility is unmatched. He's the same old Jason here. He kills without mercy.

We get to see some of the best kills here. The guy going down the screw was one of my favorites. We also get to see the extremely humorous sleeping bag double kill. It's so ridiculous that it's hilarious. A great way to finish the series off.

Friday the 13th - Reboot
This is basically the same as every other movie done before but it's a little more grounded. If you're looking for Jason murdering people, this will scratch that itch. Bonus points if you are a fan of Supernatural since Jared Padalecki stars in it. Overall, this was a decent movie about people being brutally murdered.

Thoughts
There are a few recurring themes in these movies. Hospitals, thunderstorms, and nudity are present in almost every movie in some fashion. Maybe they are in all of them and I just became desensitized to it and can't remember. It is also entirely possible that I missed some things, too. This was my first time watching the series as a whole and many of the movies I had not seen until now.

Conclusion
These movies are absolutely terrible overall. My favorite might actually be the first one. The rest are just retreading that same formula over and over with increasingly flimsy premises. I probably most enjoyed parts 1-4 more than I did the rest.

These movies are literally only vehicles to watch people get murdered. There is no plot or character development in any of them. They are all basically interchangeable with one another without losing anything of value. It's just gore; glorious gore.

As a collection, they still hold up pretty well. I don't think you can go wrong. Skip 9, it is hated for a reason.

Recommendation
I enjoyed all of these movies except for 9. If you just want something brainless, then yes, I absolutely recommend this series. They do one thing and they do it well.

If you are looking for something even remotely intellectual, please ignore.

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